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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.8722
EAN num: 9780446695251
ISBN number: 0446695254
Label: Grand Central Publishing
Manufacturer: Grand Central Publishing
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 384
Printing Date: March 01, 2007
Publishing house: Grand Central Publishing
Sale Popularity Level: 86224
Studio: Grand Central Publishing
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Editor's Notes and Comments:
Product Description:
This book will appeal to the countless women who resent that their husbands never listen and that they have to nag in order to get them to do anything around the house; who feel like their husbands are always pawing at them to have sex and who want more from their marriage. It will appeal to men who want to have more sex, less nagging and wives who adore them. In short it's a hard-hitting, no-nonsense guidebook for men and women with a central, controversial argument: the man is primarily responsible for the marital problems. Alter says to women: You are right to want what you want from him.' He says to men: Stop thinking it's your wife's fault, and transform yourself into the good husband you know you have in you.' In 44 short chapters, her describes the problem areas men face and what actions they can take to fix them. Chapters include How to Know When You're Being a Man as Opposed to When You're Being an Asshole' How to Talk to Her' 'Your Anger: Cut the Shit.' Alter's approach is straightforward and logical; he speaks to men in a language they understand. In addition, some of the book will be geared to women where Alter will give advice on what they can do.
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Rated by buyers 
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OMG! After having read all the reviews I can easily tell the gender of the reviewer - no surprise. If you are a guy you hate it and the women love it - once again no big surprise. My wife gave this book to me for my birthday - Unreal- especially since I am a little busy finishing up a full time 28 month graduate school program - in Nursing. Now, I ask you, I am a non-gay male nurse - how much more sensative can a man get!? But, after reading the words of this author - obviously not near enough! Anyway, I digress, yesterday she blamed me for not getting over issues with my childhood and that she will look for her own place after Christmas - this is while I was studying for my Board certification exam - nice timing! According to the author, I should applaud her though!!!
I wondered where the heck did this come from - sort of out of left field - so I picked up the book and started reading - Unreal! When I stopped laughing - I wondered two things. First, how close was this guy with his mother, a little too close if you ask me; and two, when will he come out of the closet?
Not male bashing? Unreal.
I have much work to do to save my marriage as my wife was obviously not happy enough to purchase this waste of paper and ink. I will print off these reviews and give it to her - she seems to be taking this work of fiction to heart, underlining passages and starring as well. Wish me luck and by the way, do not buy this book - it is male bashing at its finest by a male who should not be allowed to call himself a man.
Rated by buyers 
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Finding this book was a great help to me, as it articulated so many things that I was trying to explain to my husband.
The central insight, from my point of view, is that everyone has to remember what the goal is...a happy marriage. The whole use of the word 'fault" is ironic, meant to get us past the point-counting and into the place where everyone is trying to live the marriage he or she wants, the happy, sexy, relaxed and appreciative one.
Unfortunately, defensive and unhappy people are not the ideal audience for irony. They just aren't. I suspect Mr. Alter remembers that well in his practice, but this is written more to peers, so he leaves in jokes that people in trouble may not understand as jokes, such as the title.
If your wife is 'fed up', gentlemen, use this book to help you figure out why. She didn't just hire the cutest poolboy in town and have you join an extra bowling league. She brought you a book. She's [b]working[/b] on it. If you work on it, too, she'll attribute it to the book and feel successful. If you argue about it, she'll feel unsuccessful. And unsuccessful and argued with isn't hot. That's the kind of strategy suggested in this book...and it will work.
If you'd rather be right than get laid, go ahead and argue. If your woman is bi-polar, or a shopping addict, or something, this won't help. If she isn't crazy to start with, it won't hurt.
See how easy this is?
Rated by buyers -
I admit, as a husband, I am not perfect; I have my flaws. My wife recently came across this book and now it has become her relationship bible. Problem is she has her flaws too (no one is perfect). This book directs all the blame at the guy and tells the women their husband is wrong-always wrong.
This "self help" book has caused more stress and fights between us than before she started reading it. Every wife deserves her prince but this book has pounded into her head that I must be her Prince Leopold and that if I fail to ride home on a white horse with a bouqet or flowers in hand every night after a hard day at work then something is wrong with me and I do not love her. Nonsense. I finally asked her to stop reading and refering to it.
What the author fails to realize is that it takes two to make a marriage work. We BOTH have flaws and again, no one is perfect.
Rated by buyers -
This book is ideal for women who wish their husbands would treat them with a little more kindness and respect, but who feel too intimidated to insist on it.
After reading it, I did four things.
(1) I told my husband that I no longer though of him as "imperfect," but instead as being "90% perfect". I said he's not an abuser, adulterer, or an addict; he works hard for the family; he loves us; he would die for us; he has tremendous integrity; etc. He really appreciated hearing this from me, instead of just another bitter round of tears and "I'm so unhappy."
(2) I told him I was committed to focusing on that remaining 10%--to building a 100% great marriage.
(3) I stopped blaming myself for his behavior and started insisting on kind, respectful treatment from him at all times--not in an angry way, but in a patient, compassionate (but always persistent) way. Any time he said something casually disrespectful, I would calmly say, "I need an apology, or else we need to talk about this."
(4) For the very first time in 20 years of marriage, I started using the word "man" when referring to my husband. I have always, "You are a great husband, you are a great father, you are a great guy," etc., but I am amazed at how gratifying it is to my husband when I say "You are such a good man."
Since reading the book a year ago, I have been constantly (or so it felt to me) insisting on apologies and changes in my husband's behavior. Occasionally I would hesitate before speaking up, thinking, "Can he deal with yet another of my demands for change?" But then recently, my husband amazed me by remarking, "I think the reason our marriage is so much better is because ever since you read that book, you have finally started to appreciate me." Wow!
It is a 2-steps-forward, 1-step-backward process, but we are happier than we have ever been in our marriage. I am so greatful to Robert Mark Alter for helping me appreciate the good man I am married to, and for encouraging me to speak up and insist on respect and kindness at all times.
Rated by buyers -
Browsing the Humour section at the local Borders Express, I came across this delicious work of farce by humorist Robert Mark Alter. I laughed until my ribs hurt, and eagerly await Alter's subsequent gut-buster.
Rather than endeavor to place "fake" characters in a "real" world (as in a satire like "Thank You for Smoking"), Alter has decided to go all the way into farce and create his own "fake" world to accompany his screwball characters, much like the dumbed-down world of dustbowl-era Mississippi which the Cohen brothers created in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" The result is nothing short of pure comic genius.
In this wacky world, women are presented as morally infallible and superior in every way to their Morlock-like male counterparts. Although the slug-brained males in Alter's world seem hardly able to tie their shoes without strangling themselves with the laces, they are still considered intelligent enough to bear total responsibility (and, by extension, total culpability) for any shortcomings in their dealings with their omniscient female benefactors. The twist is, this same level of responsibility is conspicuously absent from the supposedly-perfect females, even though they are purported to be eons ahead in intelligence, maturity and ability.
Ironically, this total imbalance of moral standards enables the female characters to throw off all inhibitions and standards, and act in the most irresponsible manner without fear of consequences, all the while clinging to this doctrine of equality (much like the Pig in Orwell's "Animal Farm" was "more equal" than the other farm animals, whom he was selling out to the farmer). Alter reaches a level of insanity worthy of Alice in Wonderland on the subject of money. The woman, who for some reason does not have to work in this totally-equal society (brilliant!), goes out and spends hundreds of dollars on clothes she doesn't need. The man is forbidden from getting angry, but is taught to praise the woman for her assertiveness. And now, here's the kicker. This chapter was about SELF CONTROL!
This idea is genius on its own merits, but Alter ratchets up the comic ante by presenting this book not as fiction, as one would expect with such an obviously outrageous premise (after all, what mature, non-institutionalized woman would actually view herself as infallible?), but as a self-help book for these imbecilic men. Amazingly, he accomplishes this with a literary "straight face" that demands that the reader take him seriously. Max Brooks used this same tone in the equally hilarious "Zombie Survival Guide," and Alter's use of it here actually makes the mayhem even more comical. He even starts out the very first chapter with the statement: "This book is not about male-bashing. Don't even think of going there!" I chuckle as I imagine Grog the caveman shrinking back as if poked with a red-hot spear, forgetting to wipe the drool from his mouth. Ted Kennedy could start a book by saying, "How dare you even SUGGEST I have a drinking problem!", and it wouldn't be as funny as this.
I hope this wonderful debut means more psychotic works of comedy are in the works from this warped but amazing new funnyman. I'm always looking for good ways to escape the reality of life for a few hours.
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